What is worth my time?

This question has been on my mind for the past semester.

Granted, I did pass my final semester, and hence will be graduating — at least, unless something comes up. Without the pressure of grades, I have had the time to actually consider what I want to be and will be doing; right now, it’s my choice.

Can you believe that? I actually have a choice over how I’ll spend my time.

The biggest thing that has come up is the economic question of opportunity cost, or what one gives up to do one thing instead of another. I’ve been particularly thinking about it while watching people talk about books and video games at work. I used to like video games; then I realized they didn’t make my life any better after I had completed them.

In the time they have spent playing, I’ve been sacrificing that play to work on my Master’s. Now I have economic mobility…and although they make more money than I do now, I at least have the potential for an upgraded life.

I’ve also been thinking about this as regards arts and crafts (particularly, knitting and crochet). I like working with color, and I like working with beads, but I know I won’t make any appreciable income off of doing that. If I did it, I would do it for the enjoyment of doing it.

Last night I put together a kit, so that I can work on micro-macrame in my spare time. I mean, I can’t cut everything non-profitable out of my life just out of monetary concerns, or whether I’ll see a fiscal return on applying myself…

I do have a number of goals/things to do, lined up for the next six months. The major issue I’m having at this moment is not knowing where I’m going to be living, next. That, in turn, affects which language would be best to learn.

Those who have been following me from my other blog know that it is a life goal of mine to learn Japanese, although — given my current location — Spanish might be a better choice of a second language. I also took Spanish for six years in Middle and High School, so relearning it would be review.

The thing is, I don’t have nearly as much reason, culturally speaking, to learn Spanish, as I’m a member of Japanese diaspora. As I was growing up, I was curious about a lot of what went into making me the person I was: things that I didn’t know and that no one told me (or possibly, could tell me, as I’m yonsei, or fourth-generation: my oldest living local relative in my life [on my Japanese-American side] was nisei, or already two generations away from Japan).

Learning Japanese language is a potential opening door into the language of my heritage, whereas learning Spanish language is basically an economic or pragmatic move. It seems like it would be relatively easy (compared to Japanese) and also fulfill a requirement that I be able to read, “at least one Western European language,” as a certain job post asked of me.

The thing is, I’m not into Western Europe. In addition, with the way international relations are being trashed right now, I can’t say I would look forward to visiting any Spanish-speaking countries in the near future (I hear it was bad enough, before). There are also some reservations I have over both 1) being obviously of African descent in a postcolonial setting, and 2) being gender-nonbinary in a setting where everything is gendered.

Of course, being of African descent in Japan might not be so great, either; although I would expect a bit more leeway where it came to existing with my gender identity there.

However, becoming a Metadata Librarian might require that I read some, “Western European language,” depending on where I work. Or, that could be an outlier related to the particular biases of the University I was perusing. Postcolonialism and everything.

I find that, at this point, French might actually work better, for me (I can actually imagine going to Quebec or Tahiti or the Caribbean [or the French Quarter]; I have been exposed to Gender Studies in French; and I know the French were better at race relations); I just have no experience in it.

French language might also help counter the tendency I’ve gotten from Japanese in which I tend to read things in terms of discrete syllables. Hence, I read, “inorite?” as, “ee no ree tay,” not, “I know, right?” Still. I mean, I still look at it and I know what it’s supposed to say, but it doesn’t work out that way in my mind.

There is also the art tangent. I keep wanting to do it, and I keep feeling like it’s a waste of time. But I suppose it’s really rather like playing an instrument: you can’t expect to stop doing it for a couple of years and then re-enter and immediately regain all your skills.

I really don’t know what I’m going to do, on that front, though I’m thinking that the first step into re-entry is the hardest. Because of my MLIS program, I haven’t had the time (or energy) to keep up a study of art. What I have had time to do, and have been forced to do, is read. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. And I’m not certain whether I’ll ever get back to being a writer.

Well, I mean, a professional writer, although, “amateur,” probably best described me when I graduated with my BA in Creative Writing. I have found, however, that a lot of people move on from their undergraduate degrees, in their later life. Particularly, if their undergraduate degree is in something that isn’t profitable. Like…Creative Writing.

Someone wrote a book called, “Pivot,” which I just recalled. Actually, there are two books called, “Pivot,” which I just discovered…and I can get both of them through the library. Hmm.

I still want to get back to my study of Japanese language, though (which will be of use in Hawaii if I ever have to move there). And I still want to work with beads and cords. I also still want to get back to reading.

I don’t know about the art — which I can say because this is not my art blog!

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